A new normal.

It’s been less than a month since the official Crohn’s-Colitis diagnosis landed, like a punch to the gut, out of nowhere.  I feel like in the past few weeks it’s been all I’ve talked about. I’m tired of talking about, but I also can’t stop myself from talking about it. I guess that, in counselor speak, I’m still processing.

I’m trying to keep as much normalcy in my life as possible.

I’m lucky that I’m in a position at work where I can have some control over my schedule. So that I’ve stopped scheduling morning meetings, and on the days when I’m late I’m able to just call in and let my boss know how late I’m going to be.  With only a few weeks left in this school year I am hopeful that I can make it through, and not become overly reliant on having extra time in the morning. I’ve gone from a typical day being at my desk by 7:15 or 7:30 to being there closer to 8:30 or 9:00. I know this still seems early; but in the world of public education starting before 8:00 is standard. That’s why we get the ‘perk’ of being out earlier than five.

I’ve been slowly adding physical activity back into my schedule. Starting with my greatest passion, climbing. I’m on a two day a week climbing schedule, which is what I was on before; although I had been planning to up to three days a week.  It’s hard to keep my own frustration in check, as even though I’m hitting up the gym with the same frequency my climbing is not as strong as it was. Of course it’s not. In my head that’s logical. But when I’m struggling to send a 5.8 route and watching my climbing pals progress on 5.10’s my jealous, competitive side rears her ugly little head. I have to remind myself that on some days for me, just making it to the gym is a victory. A thought that doesn’t bring me a whole lot of comfort. Who is this sick girl, and what has she done with the real me?

I’ve dropped fighter fitness classes. I’ve dropped my home work outs. And yoga. As my symptoms continue to decrease in intensity I’m evaluating what should be added back in. Yoga will be the next to come back. A few months ago I bought a groupon for five classes at a yoga studio that I’ve been excited to try. Since breaking up with my Bikram studio last year, most of my yoga practice has been at home, with just an occasional class. But I know that for my practice to be where I really want it to be that I need to start going to classes again regularly. So I’m going to start with one class a week, on top of the two days of climbing.

Three days a week of activity. It just seems like… so little. But then, kickball starts again next Thursday nite. And while I’ve always considered kickball more social than truly athletic, at least it’s another day that I will be on my feet and moving around for an hour or so. So, four days of light to moderate physical activity. I hope my body cooperates, because this is just the beginning of me taking control back from this disease.